And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
