so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
