allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
