My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize