oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Two words: blizzard sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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