She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
