Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
