we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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