We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
