why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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