Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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