How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
