i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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