I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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