Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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