apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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