yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize