You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
