You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
