Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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