These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
