i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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