I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
