Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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