she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
