I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
