I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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