Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
