I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
