Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
