I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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