I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
