So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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