it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize