By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
