Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
