AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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