i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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