I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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