i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
