When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
