redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
