shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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