I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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