i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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