There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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