Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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