Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
