I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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