He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
