I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
