We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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