You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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