I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize