its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
