It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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