come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
