STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
