You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
