He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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