You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This is classic penis vs brain.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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